They both die at the end by Adam Silvera

My Last Message would be to find your people. And to treat each day like a lifetime.

― Adam Silvera, They Both Die at the End

Title: They both die at the end

Author: Adam Silvera

Publisher: HarperTeen

Format: Audio-book

Rating: 5/5 ★★★★★

Summary:

New York Times bestselling author Adam Silvera reminds us that there’s no life without death and no love without loss in this devastating yet uplifting story about two people whose lives change over the course of one unforgettable day.

On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They’re going to die today. Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they’re both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There’s an app for that.

Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they’re both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There’s an app for that. It’s called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure—to live a lifetime in a single day.

This book… this book absolutely wrecked me.

You’d think that, with a title like that, I’d be ready for anything; turns out I was not.

When I started it I knew nothing of the story except the title, so when, at the beginning we get the Death Cast phone call I wasn’t sure what to think.

Twenty minutes into the audiobook I was already choking back tears.

This is a beautifully crafted story, with characters you can’t stop yourself from caring about and situations as mundane as life changing.

During the story we get a love story greater than many that had years to develop. These two kids start their last day as complete strangers but, by the end, they share more love than many people know in their entire lives.

A book like this begs the question: what would you do if you knew it was your last day on Earth?

I’d like to think I would spend it with my family, just chilling and probably comforting my mom but I found myself sympathising with Mateo and Rufus and how they chose to go.

I just have a lot of feelings.

Mateo Torrez

Sweet-anxiety-ridden-Baby boy, I will protect him from the world and himself. There were times I wanted to shake him and yell at him to get his shit together but the kid is living his last day, I’d be a mess too. And then he manages to push through all of that and actually live, be happy, and find love in one day. He is so strong in the end, he just needed the push.

Rufus Emeterio

He is just so selfless, this boy spends most of his last day doing things to help this kid he just met and doesn’t complain once. He is having one of the shittiest Last Days but he still puts on a smile and drags Mateo out of his shell.

Lidia

Queen of dealing-with-too-much. I think Mateo should have told her the minute he knew it was his end-day, considering what happened with her boyfriends. She has this guilt over not being there for him and then Mateo wanted to do the same?? Luckily Rufus was there. She took everything with grace and tried to do the best he could to make sure the boys had a perfect end day and I respect that. She never bothered them with her feelings when she knew they were going through so much but was still there for them. I really liked her character.

Aimee

I’m not too sure about her. I get that she got mad because Rufus beat up peck but taking him to Rufus’ funeral?? That was a shitty move. I didn’t really feel a connection with her and she seemed a bit too self-absorbed to me.

Malcom and Tagoe

Best friends ever and deserved so much more in life. They were loyal to death bad joke, sorry they went to jail just so Rufus could have a bit of freedom on his last day and they didn’t even resent him for landing them there (though it wasn’t hi fault either). I adored this two and the dynamic between the plutos was delightful to read. They read like brothers.

Peck That a-hole

F*********ck him. I hope he got the call that very same night and died shooting himself in the d*ck and slowly bleeding out (I got a bit graphic there) Point is: he was such and entitled little shit that caused so much hurt, and not only to Rufus but everyone on that club and the people on the car crash he caused. And still, he didn’t die, because life isn’t fair.

It was super sweet and heartbreaking. I don’t usually like character-driven stories but this one was special. The author manages to make you feel for the characters even though you (and them) know how this all ends.

The love story was amazing, it felt well done even though they had just one day together. The feelings weren’t forced, instead we could see how the boys grew closer until they arrived to love. The part where they are on the bed and are going to sleep…. I wished so hard they’s die like that, asleep on each others’ arms, but there were still 40 minutes of audio left and I knew I wasn’t ready for what was coming.

The relationships the boys had previous their last day were really well portrayed, and though I didn’t understand at first why Mateo wouldn’t tell Lydia about the call I feel like I got a deeper understanding of his personality and motives along the way.

Mateo grows so much during the novel. Rufus remarks on it when he speaks with his father but the contrast is so strong, from the scared kid who couldn’t get out of his house. Still, I think Rufus did a lot of growing too, maybe not as obvious as Mateo but just as important. While Mateo’s growth focused on making him face the world and get himself out there Rufus’ was the opposite, he grew inwards, learning about himself, accepting and recognizing his own feelings.

I also loved the little peeks we got of other people, it helped cement the world at large, seeing how society functions with Death Cast and how different, or similar, people’s day-to-day lives are.

Finally…. Gosh, that last sentence

Nothing, really. There was no point in the book where I wasn’t 100% invested in what was happening. I only have one little thing I’d have liked to not happen:

But no matter what choices we make – solo or together – our finish line remains the same … No matter how we choose to live, we both die at the end.

THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END

Why??

I kept waiting for them to be an exception, for something magical to save them, for f*cking justice at least, seeing Peck dead on the ground. But this book is too much like real life for that to happen, and thanks to that the book is as beautiful. But still…

I have to admit that that last scene with Rufus and Mateo was horrible in the best of ways, Rufus begging for Mateo to wake up and seeing his face burnt… it made me want to chuck the book out the window. It broke my heart in a thousand pieces and it made me cry.

The worst part of all is that Mateo died knowing his mistake may take Rufus too and Rufus died alone.

You may be born into a family, but you walk into friendships.

---

Maybe it’s better to have gotten it right and been happy for one day instead of living a lifetime of wrongs.

---

Entire lives aren’t lessons, but there are lessons in lives.

---

I cannot tell you how you will survive without me. I cannot tell you how to mourn me.  I cannot convince you to not feel guilty if you forget the anniversary of my death, or if you realize days or weeks or months have gone by without thinking about me. I just want you to live.

---

…stories can make someone immortal as long as someone else is willing to listen.

---

I kiss the guy who brought me to life on the day we’re going to die.

I’ll give it 5 phone calls

TELLING YOU THAT DEATH CAST MADE A MISTAKE AND YOU WILL LIVE FOREVER WITH THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE AND THAT YOUR DAD WOKE UP AND PECK IS DEAD AND EVERYTHING IS HAPPY

I’m still crying