Posted in Ramblings

Quotes and ranting to: Simon vs the Homo Sapiens agenda by Becky Albertalli

In honor of a fantastic movie I STILL can’t watch in theatres (though there are a lot of countries where the movie won’t get a single showing and I hope things get better for you all out there) I decided to do a little something to spread my love for Love, Simon. What better way than buying another copy of the book, this time with the first emails Jaques and Blue exchanged, and writing a post raving about it?


Basically I take all of the parts I highlighted and group them according to how they make you feel, then talk a bit about each. For example:

For the next few days at school after that, it felt like I was a character in a movie. I could almost imagine a close-up of my face, projected wide-screen. It’s strange, because in reality, I’m not the leading guy. Maybe I’m the best friend.


Disclaimer: Be aware that this post contains spoilers for the book (and probably the movie too I WOULDN’T KNOW)


So, I just finished my reread of this fantastic book but instead of doing a review for a book almost everyone has read/heard of, I decided to comment on my favourite parts of the book and rant from there. I hope this doesn’t get too tedious it probably will, I promise to keep my Martin-hate at a minimum but I do frigging hate him and hope he chokes

Tell me if this stops making sense.

This will be separated in different topics so I can kid myself into thinking I actually follow some sort of process for screaming about stuff.

Just know that I made 33 notes and 95 highlights on my kindle copy and I’m not even kidding.

I had a lot of feelings, ok??

Things that had me giggling


But I’m gay. GAY. Gaaaaaaaayyyyy

Best quote

Like, I don’t even know how not to use the Lord’s name in vain. But maybe it’s not a big deal to him. Him being Blue, not the Lord.

My dad invented the concept of Simon logic, and I can’t seem to outgrow it. It means wishful thinking supported by flimsy evidence.

My whiole life is decided by Somin Logic tbh

If she thinks me drinking coffee is big news, it’s going to be quite a fucking morning.

But it turns out to be an impressively realistic, manga-style drawing of our French teacher performing fellatio on a baguette. Speaking of things that remind me of Blue.

Simon is a Gay Mess (TM) and I actually laughed with this one

A couple of the girls put some junk in my hair to make it messy, which is basically like putting high heels on a giraffe. And then they tell me I have to wear eyeliner, which I absolutely detest. It’s bad enough that they want me to wear my contacts.

Read this and then imagine poor Bram seeing that on a stage and then at his lunch table, it’s a miracle that boy didn’t die right there

And my arms are around their shoulders, because I love them SO FREAKING MUCH.

Drunk Simon is one of my favorite Simons (as long as he is safe)

“Do you want to watch something?”
I look at him. “I don’t.”
He laughs. “So, let’s not.”
“Do you want to see my room?”

Sad stuff


Nothing is worse than the secret humiliation of being insulted by proxy.

“So you guys just wanted to take a walk, or what?” I ask finally. They look at each other.

(After the Tumblr post and berore Simon finds out) The fact that they couldn’t tell him is kind of cruel but it was obvious from the start that they had bad news, who goes walking just because?

I din’t notice this the first time but at 57% of the book we see “—Blue” without the Love and it made me sad too

Someone who seemed to like me better before he knew who I was.

And then you find out that Bram thought Simon didn’t like him so he didn’t want to lose the relationship they had through email. This boys are #Tragic

I told him I understand if he’s not attracted to me. I tried to make it sound like I don’t mind. But I don’t understand. And I totally mind. This fucking sucks, actually.

My limbs feel really heavy. I kind of want to go home and crawl into bed with my iPod. But the curtains start to open. And I keep moving forward.

I’ve been there but you have to keep going because, what else is there?

“Do you like it better when I lie about things? It probably sucks for you now that you can’t make fun of gay people anymore. I bet Mom won’t let you, right?”
“Simon,” says my dad, like a warning.
I giggle, but it comes out too sharp. “That awkward moment when you realize you’ve been making gay jokes in front of your gay kid for the last seventeen years.”

Drunk Simon is funny at the beginning but he is also honest and micro-agression in your own family are so common, I’m glad he could tell his dad even if he was inebriated at the time

“Because, if you had been looking for it to be me, I think you would have guessed it yourself.”

That’s not it! He was just SO convinced by your straight-acting that he didn’t even let himself wonder. He did think a lot of nice things about you though… those calves

The straights (TM)


Being secure in your masculinity isn’t the same as being straight.

It’s like he’s our age telling his parents he knocked someone up. Which is totally the straight person equivalent of coming out.

I don’t even know. I’m just so sick of straight people who can’t get their shit together.

This is a Mood

She looks at me and frowns. “It’s just, you know. I get that you were in a difficult position. But you don’t get to make the decisions about my love life. I choose who I date.” She shrugs. “I would think you would understand that.”(…)“Eh, I’ve thought about it, and you definitely get a pass when you’re being blackmailed.”

Yeah, no. Don’t compare things, it’s not even close. Like, it’s not that bad, if it wasn’t blackmail then he’d just be trying to make you know this other person better. I don’t think where straight people get off by comparing situations that make them marginally uncomfortable to coming out.

Martin Monkey’s asshole


I catch a glimpse of Martin, and it looks like he’s been crumpled. His hands are covering his face.

Don’t you love seeing shitty people suffer? I do

“And you know what? You don’t get to say it’s not a big thing. This is a big fucking thing, okay? This was supposed to be—this is mine. I’m supposed to decide when and where and who knows and how I want to say it.” Suddenly, my throat gets thick. “So, yeah, you took that from me. And then you brought Blue into it? Seriously? You fucking suck, Martin. I mean, I don’t even want to look at you.”


Martin Van Buren. Our eighth fucking president.

EWWWWWW the fact that he even thinks about it is repulsing. Blue was kind and sweet, Monkey’s asshole was just that, an asshole. This boy is so clueless istg

Things that make you feel warm inside


I guess I didn’t really think of myself as interesting until I was interesting to Blue.

This is sad but at the same time he did discover he was interesting after all

Perfect happiness is: gripping the bottom of a rolling chair with both hands, while Cal Price pushes me down the hall in a full-on run.

If Bram wasn’t there I think Cal would have been a really good choice for Simon

“I’m not holding your hand,” I tell him, smiling a little. “All right”—he nods—“but know that I would.”

This is what a good friend does and Nick is the bestest

At exactly 58% of the book we get our very first: Love, Simon

He looks at me and shakes his head. “Oh, honey,” he says, smiling sadly. “No. No.” “No?” I ask. “Who did you come here with? Where are your friends, cute Simon?” (…) “Good-bye, cute Simon,” says Peter, hugging me, and then kissing me on the forehead. “Go be seventeen.”

Can I just say? This is so refreshing, like, an adult who knows how to get drunk and doesn’t turn into an asshole and respects that Simon is a freaking kid and so he helps him get back to his friends. It was so pure

P.S. I love the way you smile like you don’t realize you’re doing it. I love your perpetual bed head. I love the way you hold eye contact a moment longer than you need to. And I love your moon-gray eyes. So if you think I’m not attracted to you, Simon, you’re crazy.

This note killed me dead. The boy is so in love he can’t stop saying it. But, because I hate myself, I can’t help but imagine Bram on his room, not sleeping and looking at his phone, waiting for a text, and emoji, anything… and he is left waiting

“I want to hold your hand,” I say softly. Because we’re in public. Because I don’t know if he’s out. “So hold it,” he says. And I do.

The Beatles “I wanna hold your hand” sounds in the distance also the sound of me screaming

“I like no endings,” I say. “I like things that don’t end.”

This is me, I am Simon

But maybe this is a big deal. Maybe it’s a holy freaking huge awesome deal. Maybe I want it to be.

Cute Bram


I realised too late that this is like, half the book

But eventually I noticed Nick switching seats with Bram Greenfeld at lunch—calculated

And so, only 9% into the book we see HIM

Nick’s soccer friends: awkward silence Bram


Bram from my lunch table. He’s this quiet black kid who’s supposed to be really smart, but I’ve never heard him speak unless he’s forced to. He leans way back into the corner of the couch, shuffling the toe of one foot against the other, and I never noticed it before, but he’s actually kind of adorable.

Awkwardness should be a requirement. I guess this is sort of our version of the Homosexual Agenda? (…) I think it’s more like the Homo Sapiens Agenda. That’s really the point, right?

*Book name alert* I love when authors do this

“If you like her, just ask her out,” I say to Bram, and he immediately starts blushing.


Bram bites his lip. Which I’m pretty sure is straight-dude code for Bram likes Leah.

Here we can see a young gay in the wild, thinking he speaks the Straight language when he doesn’t even speak Gay yet

Simon thirsting


I’m not even gonna comment on these, the poor kid is so crushing on Bram and he doesn’t even notice

But I have this theory that Bram’s probably really funny inside his own head. I don’t even know why I think that. But seriously: whatever inside jokes he has with himself, I think I’d like to be in on them.

I’m this close to making out with my laptop screen.

And they all have those soccer calves. So it’s kind of a nice view.

Also, Bram is cute. Like, really, really cute.

“Audition?” asks Bram, smiling so quietly. And when he looks at me, I feel this happy sort of ache.

“Can I sit here?” he asks, and my eyes snap open. It’s Cute Bram Greenfeld, of the soft eyes and soccer calves. I loosen the seat belt to let him in. And I smile at him. It’s impossible not to.

After The Reveal

“And I can’t believe you rode the Tilt-A-Whirl for me.” “I must really like you,” he says.

“Greenfeld made me go three times.”

Awww, I can’t deal with this level of puppy love. He managed to drag his jock friends to the school’s play three times because he needed to see Simon in stage make-up again

I’m not sure if Bram knows that handing me his iPod is like handing me the window to his soul.

He knows, and he is doing it for a reason

Quotes you see quoted everywhere

(for a good reason)


He talked about the ocean between people. And how the whole point of everything is to find a shore worth swimming to.

there are only two kinds of weather: hoodie weather and weather where you wear a hoodie anyway.

It is definitely annoying that straight (and white, for that matter) is the default, and that the only people who have to think about their identity are the ones who don’t fit that mold.

Okay but, just with that parenthesis you know Blue has to be a POC, white people don’t have to think about race so they don’t umprompted

The way I feel about him is like a heartbeat—soft and persistent, underlying everything.

As a side note, don’t you think everyone should have to come out? Why is straight the default? Everyone should have to declare one way or another, and it should be this big awkward thing whether you’re straight, gay, bi, or whatever. I’m just saying.


White shouldn’t be the default any more than straight should be the default. There shouldn’t even be a default.

True, I find myself doing this where a character isn’t given a description right off the bat I tend to imagine they are white and allocishet until proved otherwise

And I can’t stop smiling. I mean, there are times when it’s actually more work not to smile.

I can’t stop either, Simon

Bram was right: people really are like houses with vast rooms and tiny windows. And maybe it’s a good thing, the way we never stop surprising each other.

*Screaming internally*


But Leah hates being excluded. “Maybe just us three,”

Noooo, why would you hurt your friend like that? Was it really necessary? You just have to deal with her feelings like any friend would

For what it’s worth, I’ll be there at six thirty. And I hope I see you.
–Love, Simon

And then:

“It’s you,” I say.
“I know I’m late,” he says.


I’ll probably make another post to talk about the movie vs the book when the movie is out in my country (even though that’s like ages away)

Congrats for making it this far into my rambling, hope you all enjoyed it


Book lover and hockey goalie from Argentina. Trying to figure life out

8 thoughts on “Quotes and ranting to: Simon vs the Homo Sapiens agenda by Becky Albertalli

  1. I reread the book and watched the movie second time this week… but still your post made me very excited and happy… This is such an awesome book and the movie is adorable.. I hope u get to see it soon…
    Your collection of quotes is ❤️❤️❤️ and it felt like reading the book again.. Thank u for that !!!


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